Pushing Meat

Troy and John after securing their second title

Last night we attended our second annual Yellowstone Club Rodeo. It’s a fun night with lots of food, and plenty to drink… Which is important for the next point… Steer Dragging…

Last year, I volunteered for this, seemingly simple event… There are a half-dozen or so steer in the chutes, but, rather than ride on their backs, there are ropes tied to their horns.

In two-man(woman) teams, you drag the bull out of the chute, coax it around a barrel at the far end of the arena, and then tag out on the far side of the arena. First team to tag the judge while holding on to their bull wins.

Last year, I partnered up with Spencer. He was a pretty big guy wearing Italian loafers, and very drunk. I led the front of the rope and he has in the middle. Somehow through dumb luck and determination, we managed to keep from tangling with the other ropes and bulls, Spencer fell over, I dragged him and the bull part-way, put it in low-gear, and eventually tagged out to win.

This year, Spencer wasn’t here. So, I took the next-best-thing and took his drunk brother-in-law John. But, this time there was strategy.

I told John that we wanted to steer clear of the crowd to avoid getting ropes tangled. I put him on the front of the rope, and I took care of the bull.

When the chute opened, I dropped the rope and grabbed the bull by the horns… A few feet out of the chute, the animal fell over and was on its back with its hooves in the air. We dragged it a few feet, but, it didn’t take long to realize this wasn’t going to work.

Relaxing the rope, the bull righted itself and I got behind it and started smacking it on its ass, basically herding it around the other animals. We made it around the barrel, and I gave it one good smack on the ass and John and Bull took off charging across the arena, right past the judge.

I guess John wasn’t property briefed that you need to tag the judge and went right past him.

After a moment of confusion, and some stern yelling by Troy, we got the bull turned around and tagged the judge, retaining the title of 2-year Bull dragging champions!

I found that spanking and yelling at the Bull was a much more effective means than sheer power. Watch out for us in 2012!